Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Another Step!

I feel like a baby learning how to walk for the first time. A baby has to develope a trust relationship between their feet and their legs. They have to trust that they are going to keep them up and move them along one step at a time. I guess that is where I am at. I am learning to trust God as my feet and faith as my legs to move me one step at a time in this process.

This makes me think of the movie "What About Bob." Where Bob (played by Bill Murray) struggles with obsessive-complusive disorder, who starts reading this book which tells him to take baby steps in everything that he does. So, he begins making these changes in his life by saying outloud "baby steps" before he begins to do anything. I love that movie and when I think about it, I can apply that to my life now. I have to take baby steps everyday in this process, so I do not get overwhelmed, scared and crawl back in a shell and think that it is impossible. I do not serve a God of the impossible, I serve a God who makes all things possible!

Tomorrow is yet another baby step. My husband and I will attend an informational meeting for the home study process. At this meeting I am sure they will give us all the information that we will need to know when we start the process. I am excited and nervous all at the same time. I will let you all know what happened.

I also have been working on my cartoon art that I created to raise money for our adoption. They are personalized works so you can add someones name and choose a phrase to go with your picture. Hopefully I will be able to get them on my website soon for everyone to check out. Yeah, good things are coming! Take care everyone and I will be back soon!

Friday, September 22, 2006

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Monday, September 18, 2006

Feeling Refreshed and Renewed



I went to a Women's Retreat at the Silver Spur Conference Center located in Tuolumne, CA over the weekend. For those who have no idea where that is, it is 3 hours away from Sacramento above Jackson. And for those who still have no clue it is out in the sticks, where the cows say "mooooo".

It was an awesome time! The speaker shared her incredible story about how the Lord has used her hurts and her wounds to help others. Her name was Wendy Colton and she was in a serious car accident when she was in high school. She and her sister were in a van that swerved to miss a car that veered off into their lane. In doing so they drove off a cliff and down an embankment and the car burst into flames. Her and her sister survived but she was severely burned.

If you want to read more of her story you can go to www.wendicalton.com.

We all have scars from our past and I know mine are long and ugly, but I was blessed by her story and her strength. God really blessed me and spoke to my heart about a lot of things. He is good and no matter how much we carry, He will carry it for us if we let him.

All of us girls had an awesome time though. Food was yummy and we didn't have to worry about diets or how we looked. Who are we going to impress up there in the sticks, the squirrels? A friend of mine toilet papered another friend's room. It was like we were back in high school! I kept looking at the toilets hoping to avoid the plastic wrap that might find its way over the hole. There was a giant swing that everyone dared to go on. I am afraid of hieghts and skipped this adventure and let everyone scream from their own terror.

When the weekend was over I felt renewed and fresh in Christ. He pointed things out that I need to work on in my life and I am doing good so far. Every day is a battle though, but I know He is walking with me. So, until next time. Later gators!

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Innocent Eyes of a Child


Our daughter Madyson is 6 years old and she is a total Drama Queen to the max!!! She is also very stubborn, but she definately has a sweet, loving heart. She said the other day that she can't wait to get her little baby brother and that she wants to help teach him all the right things to do and not the bad stuff. Mady asked me when we would be able to get him and I told her that it is going to take a while and a lot of money. She looked at me and turned around and went to her room. She came back out a few minutes later with $20 that she had been holding on to since Christmas and handed it to me. When I asked her what this was for she simply answered that it was a lot of money and now we could go and get her baby brother. It is amazing when you look into the innocent eyes of a child and see how simple everything can be. I held her tight and started to cry. I told her that God could see her act of selflessness and will bless her for it. We are supposed to teach our children, but there are times when they are the ones teaching us.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

The Beginning of the Journey

The Call of Adoption

Here our journey starts. My husband Don and I have been talking about adoption for a couple of years now. My husband has three children from a previous marriage who live with their mother and I have a daughter from a previous.

When I was pregnant with my daughter during my first marriage, it was anything but a good experience. My ex-husband was abusive and he was unfaithful over and over again. It is hard to say this, but there was time when I begged God to take my child from me because I did not want her born into the situation I was in. Isn't it nice when God doesn't always answer our prayers? I was alone most of my pregnancy feeling completely worthless. Thank the Lord I at least had my mother by my side. I don't know if I would have made it without her support and love. After my daughter was born, my relationship with my husband got worse and he started being abusive in front of my daughter. She was just an infant, but babies sense things and I have no doubt that things can affect them giving her reaction to certain situations later in her toddler stage. I finally made the decision when my daughter was 9 mos old to leave the marriage because I did not want to live like that anymore and I did not want my daughter to grow up in a family situation like the one we were in. Since then I received full custody and my ex-husband gave up his rights to her. My husband has since adopted her and now she has a father who loves her unconditionally and will never leave her.

Why did I tell you this part of my life? I told this part of my life so you would have a better understanding of my yearning for another child and one of the reasons why. My husband Don and I have been married for 3 years and he loves me like I have never been loved. He is there for me no matter what the circumstance is and he accepts me with all my faults. I want to experience everything with him and share everything with him. When we first got together I knew that we could not have children naturally because of medical reasons and if we were going to try to have children we would have to do invitro or some other medical procedure to have them. It was then that I began to pray for a way to have a child with my husband. I wanted to be able to experience the joys of a baby with a husband that loves me and will be there with me through all of the excitement of baby's first step, the first laugh ect.

I began searching the internet for options that were available to us. It was then that I came across a story about a little boy from Russia who was adopted by a family from Texas. The family told of their story of the adoption and the facts surrounding orphans living in Russia. After reading this story I began to cry and felt a strong pull to learn more about the orphans and facts of Russia. So, I searched and searched and the more I searched for information the more I felt like the Lord was showing me something. I began to pray about it and asked God what he was trying to show me, or tell me. It was then that I saw that God was calling me to adopt. After all it says in God's word that I became adopted through Jesus Christ, as God’s daughter.

Ephesians 1:5, “In love, God predestined us to be adopted as sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will.”

So I was going to move forward with this not knowing anything about international adoption and the reality of how much it costs. All I knew was that God had placed on my heart a passion to adopt from Russia and I needed to share this with my husband. When I sat down with my husband to tell him about what the Lord had shown me, he was very receptive about the idea. My husband understood everything I was telling to him and he said that he is behind me if this is the direction that I want to go. That is all I needed to hear, I am going to have a son! So I was off again doing my research.

Mathew 18:5, "And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me."

I started looking at different agencies and looking at the cost involved and I felt like there was no hope. We attended a few Informational Meetings and prayed about it. We were going through a bible study with the book "The Dream Giver" by Bruce Wilkinson. It is in this book that through scripture it reveals how God gives us dreams and basically it is up to us to pursue them. In pursuing our dreams we will go through the valley of giants and run into obstacles, but if we persiver through them he will walk with us and our dreams will be obtainable. After going through this study I realized that my dream to adopt is given to me by God and he will make a way when there seems to be no way. Mark 10:27 "...all things are possible with God" The giant that is in my valley is the money to adopt. We make enough money to support another child, but we have no resources to pull $40,000 out of. With this giant in front of us, with God by my side I know it will be conquered.

We applied to American World Adoption Agency and received a phone call letting us know that we were accepted! Yeah!!!!! In order to begin the adoption process we have to submit the adoption agency contract with the first amount of the agency fee due of $2200 by the end of October. I am holding onto my faith that since we have taken that step to pursue this He will walk us through it. So, we are starting our first fundraiser soon, with our first goal of $2200 to be raised by the end of October. We are going to be collecting old cell phones that are lying around people's homes not being used and sending them to a company that will pay us for them and refurbish them to be re-sold. Donating cell phones can be a tax deduction for you up to the amount of your phone by checking with your tax advisor for the details. So please keep us in your prayers and that we raise the first amount that is needed to pursue the adoption so we can bring home my son and give him a forever family!